Great sex after 60 is a reality for many, contradicting the idea that desire fades with age. For Karen Bigman, a 62-year-old certified sex educator, this stage of life has brought more adventure than her younger years. She describes meeting partners in hotel rooms while her children were away and even engaging in spontaneous encounters under the fluorescent lights of a Duane Reade parking lot. While such spontaneity isn’t always the norm, Bigman argues that intimacy in this demographic is not only active but often more fulfilling than it was decades prior.
Menopause and hormonal shifts can lower libido and cause vaginal dryness, which often leads people to assume intimacy becomes uncomfortable or impossible. However, experts say these hurdles are manageable. Lubricant is frequently recommended not just as a backup but as a staple, applied during foreplay to reduce friction and increase comfort. Bigman advises keeping the product on hand and using it on the penetrating object, the body, and even between the labial folds to maximize pleasure and minimize irritation.
Related: Migraine Study Finds Common Triggers
Bodies in their 60s do not always function with the same effortless range of motion they possessed in their 30s. A weak back or sore knees can make standard positions difficult, requiring a shift in technique rather than a total halt to activity. Some couples find success by switching to side-lying positions or using foam wedges to support the hips and reduce strain.
One of the most significant benefits of aging is the willingness to communicate needs more directly. A 64-year-old woman shared that after years of “vanilla” sex, she finally felt comfortable asking for what she wanted. She realized life was too short to settle for mediocre encounters and had her first genuine orgasm at 61 by speaking up about her desires. This bluntness extends beyond specific acts; it allows people to stop worrying about how they look or sound, which can often be the biggest barrier to enjoyment.
Related: Men’s Health Initiative Launches Nationwide Screening Program
Figuring out what actually brings pleasure is easier when individuals take the time to explore their own bodies. This self-discovery builds confidence and clarifies what a person wants from a partner, making it easier to avoid settling for sex that doesn’t meet their standards. Achieving a mind-blowing climax doesn’t require a partner, and for some women, their 50s and 60s marked a turning point in figuring out what made them squirm—where they enjoyed being touched, what kind of stimulation worked, which fantasies excited them—all thanks to masturbation.
